Archive for December, 2013

We Have Come To Be Danced

Another wintry morning approaches and I sit here considering the day. Another performance. If you had told me twenty, ten, or even five years ago that I would be standing on a stage in a revealing costume performing in front of an audience I would have laughed. Outrageous really. And if you had picked into my head and looked around you would have found a very broken woman. One who did not feel worthy. One who did not see her value. One whose thoughts were drowned out by the refrains of “not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not thin enough”, the constant defense of her marital status, her maternal status, her reason to even be.

And this is why I dance.

I find within dance a powerful community of women, strong minded and creative women who make me feel ok, even supported, to be exactly who I am with every ounce of my being. That whatever decisions I’ve made with my life are mine alone and no one else’s. That the woman I am is worthy and valuable just the way I am and shown me that maybe we’re all a little broken but our cracks make us unique.

So I work my fingers raw and worry if my colors clash and fret about what to do with my hair. And after each performance, if you look very closely, some of those cracks aren’t as jagged as they used to be. Ragged wounds fade into hairline fractures that could be considered “character” perhaps. The sort of wounds that don’t hurt so much to walk on anymore.

Mornings like these I take a deep breath and reflect once more on the words written many years ago by Jewel Mathieson…

We have come to be danced
Not the pretty dance
Not the pretty pretty, pick me, pick me dance
But the claw our way back into the belly
Of the sacred, sensual animal dance
The unhinged, unplugged, cat is out of its box dance
The holding the precious moment in the palms
Of our hands and feet dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the jiffy booby, shake your booty for him dance
But the wring the sadness from our skin dance
The blow the chip off our shoulder dance.
The slap the apology from our posture dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the monkey see, monkey do dance
One two dance like you
One two three, dance like me dance
But the grave robber, tomb stalker
Tearing scabs and scars open dance
The rub the rhythm raw against our soul dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the nice, invisible, self-conscious shuffle
But the matted hair flying, voodoo mama
Shaman shakin’ ancient bones dance
The strip us from our casings, return our wings
Sharpen our claws and tongues dance
The shed dead cells and slip into
The luminous skin of love dance.

We have come to be danced
Not the hold our breath and wallow in the shallow end of the floor dance
But the meeting of the trinity, the body breath and beat dance
The shout hallelujah from the top of our thighs dance
The mother may I?
Yes you may take 10 giant leaps dance
The olly olly oxen free free free dance
The everyone can come to our heaven dance.

We have come to be danced
Where the kingdom’s collide
In the cathedral of flesh
To burn back into the light
To unravel, to play, to fly, to pray
To root in skin sanctuary
We have come to be danced
We have come.